Over the course of the evening, I listened uncomfortably to out-of-place hip hop, noshed upon agave nectar-filled dates, downed four glasses of white wine, and posed three different ways with a cardboard cutout of Obama. I also donated $136 total to the campaign: $100 to 3SNYYWAFWMBFO and $36 to YJPFO2. I received two buttons for my efforts: One a traditional "Obama '08," and the other, of identical layout except the slogan, which read "
So by the end of the evening I have two nearly identical buttons pinned to my almost-but-not-quite-fashionable faux leather purse. It's not at all acceptable to my sense of aesthetic, so I decide to choose one and tuck the other away into an almost-but-not-quite fashionable side pocket. Which to choose?
Remember that I am a former RCS. I used to glare back at all the perky blonde twenty-something women wearing enormous Obama buttons who smiled knowingly at me on Super Tuesday and beyond, assuming that because I was a young, reasonably feminine woman I must obviously be an Obamaniac3. Throwing some money at the presumptive Democratic nominee is one thing; wearing a symbol I so openly loathed but a few months ago is another.
I have to say one thing for Obama: I am much more willing to sport his name than I was Kerry's. As much as I desperately wanted him to win in 2004, Kerry is not the kind of guy you gush about, or the kind of guy the youth rally around. I remember listening to Eminem's "Mosh" on election day and crying -- though he was clearly anti-Bush, he couldn't bring himself to say "vote for Kerry," even though it was clear that that was what we needed to do, anything, anybody to get the madman out of office. 2004's futile "Vote or Die" youth campaign made me lose faith in America for months. Years. On November 3, 2004, I sat in Riverside Park with a friend smoking a clove cigarette (I don't smoke) and not saying a word. It was our first time exercising our role in democracy, and it was an abject, downright, horrifying, abysmal failure.
If Obama can change that, regardless of whether it's due to an overinflated image, I will be able to join Michelle Obama in her overanalyzed non-snafu statement about American pride4. And so, for the first time since a half-hearted attempt to support Dean, I am willing to wear my political alignment on my sleeve (quite literally), but the question still remains: to Hebrew, or to English?
My first inclination is to go with English. This could be leftover from a youth among Southern Baptists, but I remain wary of stating my religion openly. Or perhaps it's due to lingering culture shock after arriving in New York to find how simple it was to pick a Jew out of a crowd5 and the desire to retain my own identity as a secular but spiritual Jewish woman. Also, to be totally honest, the whole Hebrew-to-English-phonetics deal has reached epically silly proportions6. So I left the English Obutton on my purse and slipped the Hebamabutton away.
Of course, five minutes into my newly-established political identity building exercise, I started to feel self-conscious. Had I become one of the blonde, perky Obama Girls? Am I giving in to the obnoxious politicocelebrity culture machine built around a man who, though an excellent public speaker and a perfect posterchild for multiculturalism, is still quite clearly (to me) a consummate politician and a megalomaniac7?
Yes, I'm totally overreacting to the simple issue of an Obutton, but it got me thinking. I was invited to two fundraisers on one night. I get e-mails forwarded from all kinds of listservs: Diversity for Obama, Law Students for Obama, Chicks with Dicks for Obama. Of all the voting blocs to which I might belong, which one do I identify most closely with8?
I think it really boils down to which bloc needs my affiliation more.
I've been watching all the news about Jews' wariness towards Obama, and the topics range from concern about his stance on Israel to absolutely deranged shock mongering. I mean, typical election stuff, but Obama does appear to be put under a Jewish magnifying glass more closely than any other candidate in recent memory. This is most likely because he is pushing for a more pluralistic approach, courting Palestinians and even insisting on dialogue with Mahmoud Abbas (see the latest from AFP). Pro-Israel Jews have relied on unilateral support for Israel for so long that Obama is putting them through an unexpected wringer. Of course, his promise of an "unshakeable" bond with Israel is complicated by what appears to be contradictory dialog with Israel's enemies.
I am not a 100% Pro-Israel Jew. I see the Palestinians' plight as one of failed policy (possibly deliberate by Israel's neighbors) and missed opportunity. It truly is a failure that generations of Palestinian refugees have grown up without a place to call home. While I align myself with the Jewish people, and feel that Israel does have a right to exist, so do the Palestinians. At this point, I break from most of my peers in the Jewish community, or at least the ones with whom I have had most communciation.
So when it comes to the silly issue of an Obutton, a larger question looms: Which bloc needs my representation more? English-speaking Americans for Obama? Or Jews, as a bloc currently on the fence (supposedly), for the man who truly stands up for the morals that are the cornerstone of our venerable religion/ethnicity, regardless of how those morals manifest themselves in the current political climate?
In addition to these reasons, the Hebrew button would allow me some measure of being an Obamanian on the sly9. Only those who have a functional knowledge of the Hebrew alphabet would pick up on it (or those with a photographic memory and an eye for design themes).
The answer seems pretty clear.
Now here's hoping I don't get confronted by any Hassidim for McCain.
1 Clinton Supporter because I was truly excited by her candidacy, and felt she had the tools to catalyze the greatest amount of significant good for our country. Reluctant because I knew from the getgo that she didn't stand a chance.
2 In Hebrew numerology, the letters that spell
3 It's moments like these that make me want to just shave my head and stop wearing skirts, but what good would that really do?
4 god what a farce this whole process can be.
5 And said crowd is also usually 40% Jewish.
6 .
7 Anyone who runs for president and pretends not to be power-hungry is clearly -- well, a politician.
8 Not the chicks with dicks, though they need representation, too!
9 Not a cookie-cutter white girl on the subway relishing the smell of her own farts.
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